I have been thinking of all the ways to share about my mothering journey on Mother’s Day. I considered sharing the 18 hour birth story of how I became a mother or the 30 minute birth story of my second child - wow, what a difference! There are many stories and experiences that define my journey in motherhood.
Since 2012, I’ve considered myself a mom to young kids. In the trenches of babies and toddlers. The physically exhausting years as I’ve heard them described. But 2 months ago that began to change and it all started when the damn tooth fairy broke my heart.
My 8 year old had just lost her 9th tooth. She’s good for getting a wiggly tooth and then just ripping out because she gets her patience from her mother. She celebrated her newest hole in her mouth by putting her tooth in the tooth fairy bag that goes under her pillow while I secretly got a gold coin out of its hiding spot. Minutes before bedtime Emerson announced that she believes I’m the tooth fairy. Stopped in my tracks, I prepared for impact. Instead she calmly asked if the tooth fairy was real and reminded me that I promise to never lie to her.
I wanted to lie. The lie seemed harmless if it meant I could keep my little girl little for just a bit longer. But instead I kept my promise, and told her that I am the tooth fairy. She was delighted and demanded to know all of my secrets. Where do I keep the gold coins? How do I get her tooth out and the coin under her sleeping head? Where are her teeth now?
Her delight was my emotional wreckage. I suddenly burst into tears right in front of her. I couldn’t explain it then but I was profoundly sad. That small bedtime moment was the shift in her childhood. A tiny loss of the magic of childhood. A shift in my parenting from young kids to an unknown next step. I don’t know the next step but I am so blessed to mother my wonderful children.
The good news is that I didn’t cry about the Easter bunny when she announced her disbelief just a few weeks later. I will forever blame the tooth fairy…
As I reflect on this Mother’s Day I want to send my love to mothers on whatever step of your journey you may be on. I love and support you. I hope you give yourself the love, grace, and kindness that you so deserve.
First photo as a family of 4
(well, professional photo where I had actually showered)
Coaching Em's soccer team was a highlight of my year!
I am so blessed to be the mother of my amazing children